The month of may

I have floundered for so long in and out of resistance and submission. Submission to that which makes me weaker and resistance to that which I am told will bring life. The longing comes in the moments where I catch a glimpse of the struggle and plight of humanity. The student who is on the edge of hope and despair...what a jagged ridgeline that is!!! The matriarch who is going the way of all the world, her final breath exhaled in the midst of loved ones. Death brings a somberness to life that we would all do well to consider. Love, speak encouragement, challenge, show kindness because we do not know the number of our days. The power that Christ gives when we stretch beyond ourselves and give our lives. When we have the faith to love instead of fear. When we choose to love when the natural reaction would be to become angry or to withdraw. To speak a gentle word in the face a rage is likened to a feather crushing a mountain. To have a gentle boldness in the face of intimidation and the threat of harm. These are the things of a love not of this world. How many times I have endeavored to embark on a journey into the unknown of going without? I do not know. The mysteries that lie before me as I seek to find how much love God can pour out through me involves not hoarding any for myself. To sacrifice my desires to the unkown...the intangible......I have travelled the road, "to taste and touch and to feel as much as a man can before he repents". Where does the road of hunger lead to? There are many who do not believe that good and faithfulness are possible in this world. Many are eager to prove that there is none who does good. They do not have to wait long to prove themselves right. But perfection is not the message of the faithful. It is the striving and the yearning that we try to communicate. What a horrible burden it would be to try and prove perfection. I only desire to be known as one who hungered and thristed for righteousness and loved with abandon. May the love of Christ poured out through my life leave an indelible mark on the world long after I am gone.