late night

I can not sleep so I came to the school to get my book about global jihad to help send me off to blissful slumber. My mind is a stir with thoughts about life. I think it is interesting how as an imperfect human I resent not being able to act according to my selfish ways. When I find I have to curb my behavior I have a tendency to feel like, "I am not accepted...I have to compromise all the time, why can't I be intense?" (Which is selfishness on my part) But when I see others struggling with giving up/curbing their tendencies/behaviors, I seem to view myself as this altruistic, giving, emotionally flawless person who adjusts with no problem. I need to learn that I do have "ways" that need to be changed. The selfish tendencies that I feel are so hard for me to give up will help me understand and identify with others who have different struggles that are equally ingrained in their persona.